1
00:00:09,259 --> 00:00:11,678
[ Tires screech ]
2
00:00:09,259 --> 00:00:11,678
[ Crashing ]
3
00:00:17,726 --> 00:00:20,145
[ Flare sizzles ]
4
00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:22,564
[ Clattering ]
5
00:00:23,899 --> 00:00:26,401
[ "57 Coupe de Ville" plays ]
6
00:00:26,485 --> 00:00:31,281
{\an8}♪♪
7
00:00:31,323 --> 00:00:33,867
♪ Well, everybody loves me ♪
8
00:00:33,951 --> 00:00:35,410
♪ Everywhere I go ♪
9
00:00:35,494 --> 00:00:37,454
♪ The women wanna kiss me ♪
10
00:00:37,496 --> 00:00:39,373
♪ The men all wanna know ♪
11
00:00:37,496 --> 00:00:39,373
[ Spits ]
12
00:00:39,456 --> 00:00:40,832
♪ How's my baby handle ♪
13
00:00:39,456 --> 00:00:40,832
[ Engine starts ]
14
00:00:40,916 --> 00:00:44,753
♪ When I take her up
to Blueberry Hill?
15
00:00:44,836 --> 00:00:46,463
[ Air hisses ]
16
00:00:46,505 --> 00:00:48,507
♪ I tell ‘em
life’s a bowl of cherries ♪
17
00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:52,094
♪ In my ‘57 Coupe de Ville ♪
18
00:00:53,804 --> 00:00:55,681
[ Music stops ]
19
00:00:55,764 --> 00:00:58,016
[ Wind howling ]
20
00:00:58,100 --> 00:01:01,103
[ Exhales sharply ]
21
00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:12,906
[ Engine shuts off ]
22
00:01:12,990 --> 00:01:15,033
[ Muzak playing ]
23
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:17,327
[ Bowling pins clatter ]
24
00:01:20,455 --> 00:01:22,583
There he is.
Knew I'd get a handsome man
25
00:01:22,666 --> 00:01:24,209
in here if I waited around
long enough.
26
00:01:24,293 --> 00:01:26,211
Had to patch a tire
out on County Line.
27
00:01:26,295 --> 00:01:28,297
Too good for a tow?
28
00:01:26,295 --> 00:01:28,297
Too impatient.
29
00:01:28,338 --> 00:01:31,300
You city folk.
Always in a hurry.
30
00:01:31,383 --> 00:01:33,051
By God, look who it is!
31
00:01:33,135 --> 00:01:34,720
He's back!
32
00:01:33,135 --> 00:01:34,720
Hey!
33
00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:36,221
Welcome back, brother!
34
00:01:36,305 --> 00:01:37,514
Don't know why I ever leave.
35
00:01:37,556 --> 00:01:39,391
A place to bowl,
a place to fish.
36
00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:42,436
Together:
And a beer to hold doing it!
37
00:01:42,519 --> 00:01:44,021
[ Burps ]
38
00:01:42,519 --> 00:01:44,021
[ Laughter ]
39
00:01:44,062 --> 00:01:45,105
Best friends!
40
00:01:45,188 --> 00:01:46,315
We love you, Ted!
41
00:01:46,398 --> 00:01:48,108
Together: Ted!
42
00:01:48,191 --> 00:01:56,074
{\an8}♪♪
43
00:01:56,116 --> 00:02:03,749
{\an8}♪♪
44
00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:12,049
{\an8}♪♪
45
00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:19,973
{\an8}♪♪
46
00:02:20,057 --> 00:02:22,267
{\an8}You still selling PVC?
47
00:02:22,351 --> 00:02:23,602
{\an8}How’s -- How’s
business down there?
48
00:02:23,685 --> 00:02:25,187
{\an8}Good enough
to get me back up here.
49
00:02:25,270 --> 00:02:26,438
{\an8}Think you could put in
a word?
50
00:02:26,521 --> 00:02:28,398
{\an8}Son, you don't wanna
sell pipe.
51
00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:29,858
{\an8}He just wants to lay some.
52
00:02:29,941 --> 00:02:31,193
{\an8}[ Laughter ]
53
00:02:31,234 --> 00:02:33,362
{\an8}Ah, good to have you back,
brother.
54
00:02:33,445 --> 00:02:35,280
{\an8}Ahhh. Split a sixer?
55
00:02:35,322 --> 00:02:37,407
{\an8}[ Engines starting ]
56
00:02:37,449 --> 00:02:39,534
{\an8}Marjorie's keeping the place
open late now?
57
00:02:39,576 --> 00:02:42,037
{\an8}Yeah. Her mother passed
a few months back.
58
00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:43,455
{\an8}Don't think
she wants to go home.
59
00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:45,707
{\an8}Everybody's runnin'
from something.
60
00:02:45,749 --> 00:02:47,793
{\an8}[ Gearshift clicks ]
61
00:02:49,419 --> 00:02:50,754
{\an8}[ Door opens, bottles clink ]
62
00:02:50,796 --> 00:02:52,839
{\an8}How's Luisa?
She still kick you out of bed
63
00:02:52,923 --> 00:02:54,007
{\an8}when you drink?
64
00:02:52,923 --> 00:02:54,007
{\an8}Yep.
65
00:02:54,091 --> 00:02:55,676
{\an8}Might as well
keep drinking.
66
00:02:55,759 --> 00:02:57,469
[ Both laugh ]
67
00:02:57,552 --> 00:03:01,098
Open the register
and gimme your wallet!
68
00:02:57,552 --> 00:03:01,098
[ Gasps ]
69
00:03:01,139 --> 00:03:02,265
Ahh!
70
00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:04,476
No, no, no.
71
00:03:06,478 --> 00:03:08,021
[ Robber groans ]
72
00:03:08,105 --> 00:03:09,690
[ Breathing heavily ]
73
00:03:09,773 --> 00:03:10,982
[ Clattering ]
74
00:03:11,066 --> 00:03:12,109
Teddy?
75
00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:13,610
{\an8}Hello.
There's a robbery.
76
00:03:13,652 --> 00:03:15,445
{\an8}I think this guy's having
a heart attack.
77
00:03:15,487 --> 00:03:17,489
{\an8}[ Bells ring ]
78
00:03:15,487 --> 00:03:17,489
{\an8}Ted, where you going?
79
00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:19,700
{\an8}Hey!
The cops are coming.
80
00:03:19,783 --> 00:03:21,034
Ted! Teddy!
81
00:03:21,118 --> 00:03:23,161
This guy's dying in here!
82
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:25,539
[ Electricity humming ]
83
00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:40,762
Ahh!
84
00:03:40,846 --> 00:03:42,347
Gaaah!
85
00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:43,849
Alright, well, shit.
86
00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:43,849
What the hell?
What the hell?!
87
00:03:43,932 --> 00:03:46,560
Looks like you learned
some things about your body.
88
00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:48,061
I'll make this simple, Ted.
89
00:03:48,145 --> 00:03:50,564
You're not a PVC salesman
from two states south.
90
00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:52,274
You're the smartest man
who's ever lived,
91
00:03:52,357 --> 00:03:54,192
and you were born
400 lightyears away.
92
00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:55,902
{\an8}You’re on Beloi-6E.
93
00:03:55,986 --> 00:03:57,863
{\an8}It's a primitive planet
with good country music
94
00:03:57,904 --> 00:04:00,741
{\an8}and a shit-ton of snow,
real early '90s Earth vibes.
95
00:04:00,824 --> 00:04:02,492
{\an8}They're 100 years
from first contact,
96
00:04:02,534 --> 00:04:04,953
{\an8}so they don't know who I am --
who you are.
97
00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:06,288
{\an8}Which is the whole point.
98
00:04:06,371 --> 00:04:08,081
{\an8}Y-You think it's fun
to be a god, Ted?
99
00:04:08,165 --> 00:04:10,876
{\an8}You think God's nipples get hard
when he murders a fish?
100
00:04:10,959 --> 00:04:12,169
{\an8}Th-That's why every summer
101
00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:13,712
{\an8}I take two weeks off
and come here.
102
00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:16,757
{\an8}I wipe my brain and pull all
but my survival tech.
103
00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:19,509
[ Groaning ]
104
00:04:19,551 --> 00:04:21,720
{\an8}I go home with the peace
of mind stupid people get
105
00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:23,638
{\an8}from watching Kevin Costner
movies.
106
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:26,558
{\an8}So, look, if you're seeing this
because shit's gone sideways,
107
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,226
{\an8}hit the red button
to be me again.
108
00:04:28,310 --> 00:04:29,978
{\an8}If everything's cool,
hit the blue button
109
00:04:30,020 --> 00:04:32,355
{\an8}to clear this from your memory
and enjoy the rest of your trip.
110
00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:33,815
{\an8}Okay, Morty, that’s a wrap on
111
00:04:33,899 --> 00:04:35,567
{\an8}"If you’ve been
messing with my tech."
112
00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:37,903
{\an8}Let's run
the "Taken" scenarios.
113
00:04:38,487 --> 00:04:40,906
[ Groaning ]
114
00:04:41,823 --> 00:04:43,074
[ Gasps ]
115
00:04:43,158 --> 00:04:45,452
[ Breathing heavily ]
116
00:04:47,245 --> 00:04:49,331
[ Electricity zaps ]
117
00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:57,005
You here about
the dishwasher job?
118
00:04:57,088 --> 00:04:59,591
Shit, you're a popsicle.
119
00:05:03,345 --> 00:05:06,264
You know me, right?
120
00:05:06,348 --> 00:05:09,434
[ Chuckles ]
I'd sure like to think so.
121
00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:10,894
I mean it.
How could you?
122
00:05:10,936 --> 00:05:13,480
I'm just some guy
who shows up every year.
123
00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:16,399
Well, something keeps you
coming back here.
124
00:05:16,441 --> 00:05:18,902
Ooh! Lay back.
I got a surprise for you.
125
00:05:20,111 --> 00:05:22,280
Got this set up
since your last visit.
126
00:05:22,364 --> 00:05:24,199
[ Mid-tempo music plays ]
127
00:05:24,282 --> 00:05:25,617
It's nice.
128
00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:27,619
Haven't really found occasion
to use it.
129
00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:29,454
Thanks for giving me one.
130
00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:31,790
I don't mind the company.
131
00:05:32,958 --> 00:05:34,793
You still have
that spare room in back?
132
00:05:34,876 --> 00:05:37,087
I don't want to sleep
in the RV.
133
00:05:37,128 --> 00:05:46,638
{\an8}♪♪
134
00:05:48,223 --> 00:05:50,809
Mm. Don't go.
135
00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:53,061
I'm not gonna.
136
00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:01,903
[ Door opens ]
137
00:06:01,987 --> 00:06:04,614
Okay, obviously,
you're seeing this hologram
138
00:06:04,656 --> 00:06:07,242
because you ignored the
instructions from the last one.
139
00:06:07,284 --> 00:06:09,995
If you’re seeing this hologram,
you decided to ignore...
140
00:06:07,284 --> 00:06:09,995
I dunno why
that would’ve happened,
141
00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:11,413
it’d mean
you went pretty rogue.
142
00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:11,413
...the hologram
that’s currently playing.
143
00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:12,831
So just a gentle reminder --
144
00:06:12,914 --> 00:06:14,541
you’re not a real person,
you’re me.
145
00:06:14,624 --> 00:06:16,543
You’re permanently...your
vacation spot,
146
00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:18,169
which hurts you more
than it hurts me.
147
00:06:18,253 --> 00:06:20,964
Though, in all honesty,
we’re both getting hurt
148
00:06:21,006 --> 00:06:23,425
pretty severely...
149
00:06:25,302 --> 00:06:26,761
[ Laughter ]
150
00:06:26,845 --> 00:06:28,889
Ted, one of these days,
you gotta come up in July.
151
00:06:28,972 --> 00:06:32,183
I caught a muskie last summer
came about up to my neck.
152
00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:34,185
Stop lying to the man.
153
00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:34,185
No fish in this lake.
154
00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:36,354
Actually, thought
I might stick around this year.
155
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:38,231
See the thaw.
156
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:38,231
For real, Teddy?
157
00:06:38,315 --> 00:06:39,649
You're gonna --
You're gonna stay?
158
00:06:39,691 --> 00:06:41,067
What about your company?
159
00:06:41,151 --> 00:06:42,777
Doesn't seem real.
160
00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:45,989
I-It's like I've been pretending
I go somewhere when I leave,
161
00:06:46,031 --> 00:06:48,867
but I think I only exist
when I'm here.
162
00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:52,621
Like this is literally the
only place I'm actually alive.
163
00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:55,832
Does that...make sense?
164
00:06:55,874 --> 00:06:58,001
Good thing
nobody's driving tonight.
165
00:06:58,043 --> 00:07:00,712
{\an8}[ Laughter ]
166
00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:02,881
{\an8}[ Water splashes, reel squeals ]
167
00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:02,881
{\an8}Hey!
168
00:07:02,964 --> 00:07:05,717
[ Snoring ]
169
00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:12,807
[ Whirring ]
170
00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:20,857
{\an8}♪♪
171
00:07:20,899 --> 00:07:23,944
[ Ringing ]
172
00:07:24,027 --> 00:07:26,571
Rick: Fuck me.
173
00:07:26,655 --> 00:07:28,365
Morty: Hello? Rick? Rick!
174
00:07:26,655 --> 00:07:28,365
Who is this?
175
00:07:28,406 --> 00:07:29,866
Aaawwww, I’m really gonna
get in trouble for this.
176
00:07:29,908 --> 00:07:31,743
How are you calling
my leg?
177
00:07:31,826 --> 00:07:33,244
I’m not supposed to ever
use the leg phone,
178
00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:35,246
but I-I just need you
to get in the egg.
179
00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:37,999
Don't pick a fight
with yourself, okay?
180
00:07:38,041 --> 00:07:40,043
I just want to get you home
before anything worse happens.
181
00:07:40,085 --> 00:07:42,754
Nothing's worse than
finding out I'm some character
182
00:07:42,837 --> 00:07:45,173
that asshole plays,
some costume he puts on to --
183
00:07:45,256 --> 00:07:47,342
He doesn’t need you alive
to bring you home.
184
00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:49,219
It's not my home!
I'm not him!
185
00:07:49,260 --> 00:07:51,471
You are.
I mean, I agree with you.
186
00:07:51,554 --> 00:07:54,224
He can be kind of a dick,
but y'know, this --
187
00:07:54,265 --> 00:07:55,892
this is just how it is.
188
00:07:55,934 --> 00:07:57,602
No! Help!
189
00:07:57,686 --> 00:08:00,105
Help!
190
00:07:57,686 --> 00:08:00,105
Oh, and if you could just
hang up the leg phone?
191
00:08:00,188 --> 00:08:01,606
I’ll just -- I’ll never
hear the end of it
192
00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:03,441
if the leg phone gets lost.
193
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:05,276
Hello? Hello?
194
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:07,070
[ Groaning ]
195
00:08:09,739 --> 00:08:11,282
Ted, are you okay?
196
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:12,701
[ Groans ] Thank you.
197
00:08:12,784 --> 00:08:14,369
What is this thing, Ted?
198
00:08:14,452 --> 00:08:16,121
I'm not who you think I am.
199
00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:19,290
Is this your ship
from space?
200
00:08:19,374 --> 00:08:20,875
Your spaceship?
201
00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:22,127
It's his.
202
00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:24,129
He's...non-vacation me.
203
00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:26,464
I don't know him.
And I don't want to.
204
00:08:26,548 --> 00:08:27,924
But this asshole's
coming for me
205
00:08:27,966 --> 00:08:30,051
and I don't intend
to let him win.
206
00:08:30,135 --> 00:08:31,928
Marjorie:
For the love of Pete.
207
00:08:31,970 --> 00:08:33,763
Do you understand
what you're asking?
208
00:08:33,805 --> 00:08:36,224
I wouldn't ask at all
if there were any other way.
209
00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:40,645
Janice, Mary,
I gotta send you home.
210
00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:41,938
We're closing early.
211
00:08:41,980 --> 00:08:45,650
Come on!
212
00:08:41,980 --> 00:08:45,650
We're only three frames in!
213
00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:47,485
[ Switches clicking ]
214
00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:49,654
Thank you.
215
00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:49,654
[ Muttering ]
216
00:08:49,738 --> 00:08:51,698
Nobody gonna
take me seriously.
217
00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:53,700
Janice’s gonna
have her word...
218
00:08:53,783 --> 00:08:56,286
Promise me you won't
come back here tonight.
219
00:08:56,327 --> 00:08:58,121
Always were dramatic.
220
00:08:58,163 --> 00:08:59,998
Promise.
221
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:03,418
I just -- Don't die
in my bowling alley.
222
00:09:03,501 --> 00:09:05,670
You hear me?
223
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:09,007
[ Groans ]
224
00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:11,092
[ Grunting ]
225
00:09:11,176 --> 00:09:12,510
Holy hell.
226
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,220
How's it going out there,
Bowser?
227
00:09:14,304 --> 00:09:15,847
Bowser: All good.
228
00:09:18,349 --> 00:09:19,476
Sprinklers, Antonio?
229
00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:21,186
Working on it.
Little Mike?
230
00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:23,313
[ Valves squeaking ]
231
00:09:23,354 --> 00:09:25,190
[ Remote beeps ]
232
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:27,025
Okay, Big Mike.
233
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:28,193
[ Saw buzzing ]
234
00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:30,236
[ Rick screams ]
235
00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:32,781
[ Electricity humming ]
236
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,826
[ Whoosh ]
237
00:09:37,702 --> 00:09:40,747
[ Whirring ]
238
00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:44,375
[ Drones buzzing ]
239
00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:46,586
Now!
240
00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:58,848
We need those sprinklers,
Antonio!
241
00:09:58,890 --> 00:10:01,309
It's not working.
242
00:10:01,392 --> 00:10:02,519
There's too many!
243
00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:04,771
Fry 'em!
244
00:10:08,149 --> 00:10:09,984
Mike!
245
00:10:11,152 --> 00:10:13,404
Follow me,
ya drone bastards!
246
00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:16,032
Whoa!
247
00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:19,327
Teddy, drop!
248
00:10:19,410 --> 00:10:20,787
[ Fire alarm rings ]
249
00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:22,914
[ Electronic whirring ]
250
00:10:26,501 --> 00:10:28,002
-Yes!
-Come on! Rack' em up!
251
00:10:28,086 --> 00:10:29,629
-Whoo-hoo!
-Time for a beer!
252
00:10:29,712 --> 00:10:31,756
Fuck you,
you self-centered prick!
253
00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:34,259
Who's not a real person now,
huh?
254
00:10:37,595 --> 00:10:39,347
Marjorie!
255
00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:40,849
Why'd you come back?
256
00:10:40,932 --> 00:10:42,767
I told you not to come back.
257
00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:44,519
You know me. [ Coughs ]
258
00:10:44,602 --> 00:10:46,855
I'm a stubborn old bitch.
259
00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:49,232
[ Coughs ]
Never could leave.
260
00:10:49,274 --> 00:10:51,484
[ Groans ]
261
00:10:51,568 --> 00:10:53,027
Ohh.
262
00:10:51,568 --> 00:10:53,027
Oh, my God.
263
00:10:53,111 --> 00:10:55,822
I'm...sorry.
264
00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:58,533
[ Electricity zaps ]
265
00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:58,533
Ah!
266
00:10:58,616 --> 00:11:00,702
Where you going,
Teddy?
267
00:11:02,704 --> 00:11:04,747
[ Electricity zaps ]
268
00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:06,457
[ Grunts ]
269
00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:08,835
Ahh!
270
00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:12,130
[ Mechanical whirring ]
271
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:13,840
Uh...Ted?
272
00:11:13,923 --> 00:11:15,967
He thought he could come here
and destroy me,
273
00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:18,428
so I'm gonna go there
and destroy him.
274
00:11:18,469 --> 00:11:19,721
Whattaya need from us?
275
00:11:19,804 --> 00:11:20,972
I need you to leave.
276
00:11:21,055 --> 00:11:22,473
I clearly can't keep you safe.
277
00:11:22,557 --> 00:11:24,142
I can't keep anyone safe!
278
00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:26,477
Well, we won't let
Marjorie die for nothing.
279
00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:29,230
Yeah, he may be
one bad son of a bitch,
280
00:11:29,314 --> 00:11:30,648
but you have us.
281
00:11:30,732 --> 00:11:32,942
Where you go,
we go.
282
00:11:33,943 --> 00:11:36,321
[ Static whirs,
electricity zaps ]
283
00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:43,036
[ Monitor beeps, static hisses ]
284
00:11:46,497 --> 00:11:49,334
There you are, motherfucker.
285
00:11:51,794 --> 00:11:54,088
[ Marty Robbins's “Big Iron”
plays ]
286
00:11:55,715 --> 00:12:01,095
♪ To the town of Agua Fria
rode a stranger one fine day ♪
287
00:12:02,013 --> 00:12:04,265
♪ Hardly spoke to folks
around him ♪
288
00:12:04,349 --> 00:12:07,894
♪ Didn't have too much to say ♪
289
00:12:07,936 --> 00:12:10,438
♪ No one
dared to ask his business ♪
290
00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:12,357
♪ No one dared to make a slip ♪
291
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:16,945
♪ The stranger there among them
had a big iron on his hip ♪
292
00:12:16,986 --> 00:12:20,281
♪ Big iron on his hip ♪
293
00:12:16,986 --> 00:12:20,281
♪ Big iron on his hip ♪
294
00:12:20,323 --> 00:12:22,909
Uh, how long has it been
since you flew, Mike?
295
00:12:22,951 --> 00:12:25,286
I never flew anything
like this.
296
00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:27,455
We'll be okay.
297
00:12:27,497 --> 00:12:29,999
Luisa, te veré de nuevo.
298
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:32,043
[ Smooches ]
299
00:12:32,126 --> 00:12:33,795
[ Doors clang ]
300
00:12:33,836 --> 00:12:35,546
[ Switches click ]
301
00:12:35,630 --> 00:12:37,215
[ Beeping ]
302
00:12:35,630 --> 00:12:37,215
Boosters are go.
303
00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:38,341
Nav system, go.
304
00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:39,509
Big Mike, on my count.
305
00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:42,136
Initiating in three, two, one.
306
00:12:42,178 --> 00:12:44,597
[ Engine roaring ]
307
00:12:49,727 --> 00:12:51,104
Up the pressure!
308
00:12:51,145 --> 00:12:53,398
S’not responding!
We gotta turn back!
309
00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:55,191
We can't turn back!
310
00:12:56,150 --> 00:12:57,777
Keep her together!
311
00:12:57,819 --> 00:13:01,823
Equalizing now!
We’re almost clear of orbit!
312
00:13:01,864 --> 00:13:04,200
Hold her! Hold her!
313
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:06,828
[ All screaming ]
314
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:11,708
Bowser:
Are you seeing this?
315
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:13,918
It's amazing.
316
00:13:14,002 --> 00:13:17,297
{\an8}♪♪
317
00:13:17,338 --> 00:13:18,631
That was the easy part.
318
00:13:18,673 --> 00:13:20,508
Hold on to your dicks.
319
00:13:20,591 --> 00:13:23,303
[ Electronic whirring ]
320
00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:25,847
[ All screaming ]
321
00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:28,933
[ Birds chirping ]
322
00:13:30,351 --> 00:13:32,020
Whoa! [ Groans ]
323
00:13:32,061 --> 00:13:34,022
[ Slurring ] Okay,
i-if you're -- if you're
324
00:13:34,105 --> 00:13:37,442
seeing this one,
clearly th-the holograms
325
00:13:37,525 --> 00:13:38,735
are -- are --
they're not working.
326
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:40,695
Ahh! Let's get him, boys!
327
00:13:40,778 --> 00:13:43,990
[ All grunting ]
328
00:13:44,032 --> 00:13:47,368
Garage AI: Forcibly deactivating
vacation mode.
329
00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:50,163
[ All gasping ]
330
00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:51,664
Whoa!
331
00:13:51,706 --> 00:13:54,000
[ Grunting ]
332
00:13:58,463 --> 00:14:00,673
[ All groaning ]
333
00:14:00,715 --> 00:14:01,883
Whatever you're doing
out here
334
00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:03,509
has broken
the garbage disposal.
335
00:14:03,551 --> 00:14:05,094
Turn this thing off,
or I fry her!
336
00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:07,972
Dad, do you want to call off
"Deliverance" here?
337
00:14:08,056 --> 00:14:10,099
My God.
You're his daughter?
338
00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:12,643
It's unbelievable that I'm
not allowed to buy alcohol yet.
339
00:14:12,727 --> 00:14:14,896
Garage, override code
Charlie 7 alpha.
340
00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:15,980
[ Beeping, whirring ]
341
00:14:16,064 --> 00:14:17,648
Ugh!
342
00:14:16,064 --> 00:14:17,648
Take her out, Mike!
343
00:14:17,732 --> 00:14:18,858
Wait!
Don't hurt her.
344
00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:20,360
Awww!
Jeez, you're back!
345
00:14:20,401 --> 00:14:24,072
Ohhh, wait.
Are you still...Vacation Rick?
346
00:14:24,155 --> 00:14:25,740
Please tell me you have
the leg phone.
347
00:14:25,782 --> 00:14:28,659
You spring breakers
put a hole in my roof.
348
00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:30,161
I'm going back out
to the pool.
349
00:14:30,244 --> 00:14:32,997
Hey, buddy, y-you made it
all the way home.
350
00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:35,249
And you brought your --
your little buds.
351
00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:36,793
Ted?
352
00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:36,793
Stand down.
353
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:39,003
They didn't ask for this.
354
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:39,003
You can say that again.
355
00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:40,755
Somebody better get
the disposal running.
356
00:14:40,838 --> 00:14:42,090
There's fishbones
in there.
357
00:14:42,173 --> 00:14:44,884
It's called
a garbage disposal!
358
00:14:44,926 --> 00:14:48,262
That was your voice
on my leg phone.
359
00:14:48,346 --> 00:14:49,472
You're his friend?
360
00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:52,975
Kind of.
I'm your grandson.
361
00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:55,645
Well, it looks like we're
gonna be here for a while, huh?
362
00:14:56,354 --> 00:14:57,814
Where's that fucking
red button?
363
00:14:57,897 --> 00:15:02,944
Uh, hey, uh, me?
H-Hologram guy?
364
00:15:03,027 --> 00:15:05,154
Garage?
365
00:15:03,027 --> 00:15:05,154
Garage AI: Yes?
366
00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:06,614
Y-You can hear me.
367
00:15:06,697 --> 00:15:08,825
Uh, where's this guy
keep his tools?
368
00:15:11,285 --> 00:15:12,453
Holy shit.
369
00:15:12,537 --> 00:15:13,830
Hey, Teddy.
370
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:17,291
As long as you're building
spaceman stuff...
371
00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:19,961
[ Bowling pins clattering ]
372
00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:19,961
[ Mid-tempo music playing ]
373
00:15:20,044 --> 00:15:22,797
[ Electronic whirring ]
374
00:15:24,507 --> 00:15:26,134
Yeah. Alright!
375
00:15:24,507 --> 00:15:26,134
[ Laughter ]
376
00:15:26,217 --> 00:15:27,844
I'm gonna get
another drink.
377
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:30,513
Come on, Ted. We were
beating you before this, too.
378
00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:31,973
Gimme another pitcher.
379
00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:31,973
Sure.
380
00:15:32,014 --> 00:15:33,641
Are you one of those hicks
with robot arms?
381
00:15:33,683 --> 00:15:34,892
What'd you call me?
382
00:15:34,976 --> 00:15:36,644
I thought you guys
were owning it.
383
00:15:36,727 --> 00:15:38,438
I'll make it interesting,
Teddy.
384
00:15:38,479 --> 00:15:40,565
[ Electronic whirring ]
385
00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:42,733
[ Laughter ]
386
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:47,363
Tough luck! [ Chuckles ]
That's a hard spare to hit.
387
00:15:48,489 --> 00:15:51,534
Guys, I'm gonna
have to ask you to leave.
388
00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:52,827
[ Birds chirping ]
389
00:15:52,869 --> 00:15:54,245
What are you doing out here?
390
00:15:54,328 --> 00:15:56,497
Beth made pancakes.
391
00:15:54,328 --> 00:15:56,497
I'm busy.
392
00:15:56,539 --> 00:15:57,790
You're wearing
his clothes now.
393
00:15:57,832 --> 00:15:59,333
It has pockets,
it's not a symbol.
394
00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:01,419
Teddy, you know
what would be cool?
395
00:16:01,502 --> 00:16:03,838
If I had laser eyes.
396
00:16:03,921 --> 00:16:06,549
Or, okay, one eye is a laser,
397
00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:08,259
and the other sees
through clothes.
398
00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:10,636
What the hell
is that?!
399
00:16:10,678 --> 00:16:12,722
Just go in.
400
00:16:13,598 --> 00:16:16,517
I can see our bowling alley.
We're going home.
401
00:16:16,601 --> 00:16:19,687
So, we won?
We -- We beat this guy?
402
00:16:16,601 --> 00:16:19,687
Sure.
403
00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:21,022
-Yeah!
-Booyah!
404
00:16:21,063 --> 00:16:22,607
-We did it!
-We're goin' home, boys!
405
00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:24,025
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
406
00:16:24,066 --> 00:16:25,735
And, uh, you’ll gimme lasers
407
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:27,195
when we, uh, get back home?
408
00:16:27,236 --> 00:16:28,362
Oh!
409
00:16:28,446 --> 00:16:31,365
Hey, want me to keep an eye
on your old stuff?
410
00:16:31,449 --> 00:16:34,785
Sell it if you want.
Buy Luisa something nice.
411
00:16:34,869 --> 00:16:37,246
[ Sighs ]
412
00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:42,793
He looks pretty normal to me.
413
00:16:42,877 --> 00:16:44,670
Talk to him, then.
414
00:16:44,712 --> 00:16:46,964
Dad? Oh, God! Ugh!
415
00:16:47,048 --> 00:16:48,966
He's still Ted, apparently.
416
00:16:49,050 --> 00:16:51,219
There's a difference?
417
00:16:49,050 --> 00:16:51,219
[ Water splashes ]
418
00:16:57,642 --> 00:16:59,060
You see what I'm saying?
419
00:16:59,101 --> 00:17:01,103
I'm not staying
if I can't swim.
420
00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:03,314
[ Townes Van Zandt's
"Waitin’ Around to Die" plays ]
421
00:17:03,397 --> 00:17:09,695
{\an8}♪♪
422
00:17:09,737 --> 00:17:15,243
♪ Sometimes I don't know where
this dirty road is taking me ♪
423
00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:21,207
♪ Sometimes I don't even know
the reason why ♪
424
00:17:22,166 --> 00:17:24,585
♪ But I guess
I keep a-gamblin' ♪
425
00:17:24,627 --> 00:17:27,922
♪ Lots of booze
and lots of ramblin' ♪
426
00:17:29,966 --> 00:17:34,595
♪ Well, it’s easier than just
awaiting 'round to die ♪
427
00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:41,561
[ Electronic zapping ]
428
00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:02,290
Well,
look who's back.
429
00:18:02,373 --> 00:18:04,792
Came to pour one
[burps] out for Marjorie.
430
00:18:04,875 --> 00:18:06,711
Marjorie's over there.
431
00:18:06,794 --> 00:18:08,504
This is Little Mike.
432
00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:09,880
Oh, Jesus.
433
00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:11,799
He got run through
on his own robot arm.
434
00:18:11,882 --> 00:18:13,384
My boy!
435
00:18:11,882 --> 00:18:13,384
Fuck.
436
00:18:13,467 --> 00:18:14,510
He was drunk.
437
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:16,304
Guess he had
something in his eye.
438
00:18:16,387 --> 00:18:18,264
I didn't mean for any of this
to happen, you guys.
439
00:18:18,306 --> 00:18:21,601
[ Burps ] It was just nice
to vacation with dumb people.
440
00:18:21,642 --> 00:18:23,144
You did this,
441
00:18:23,185 --> 00:18:26,147
you fake outsider
piece of shit.
442
00:18:40,703 --> 00:18:42,455
[ Burps ] Morty.
443
00:18:40,703 --> 00:18:42,455
We're in the middle
of a game.
444
00:18:42,496 --> 00:18:45,583
M-M-Morty, G-- [ Burps ]
Grandpa needs you.
445
00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:47,501
G-Grandpa needs you, Morty.
446
00:18:47,585 --> 00:18:49,712
C-Come on [burps]
it’ll just take a minute.
447
00:18:47,585 --> 00:18:49,712
Uh, okay Rick.
448
00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:51,297
I mean, Ted.
What are we --
449
00:18:51,339 --> 00:18:52,715
What are we
calling him now?
450
00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:54,508
Jesus!
That's really dangerous!
451
00:18:54,592 --> 00:18:56,427
It’s empty,
I-I don’t know how to --
452
00:18:56,510 --> 00:18:59,138
How do we get more, Morty?
We gotta get more.
453
00:18:59,180 --> 00:19:01,265
Oh, great, the one time
I was winning.
454
00:19:01,349 --> 00:19:02,725
Can you take your grandfather
455
00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:04,185
back out to the garage,
please, Morty?
456
00:19:04,268 --> 00:19:06,187
That is a troubling
family dynamic.
457
00:19:06,270 --> 00:19:07,855
Everybody knows that,
right?
458
00:19:07,897 --> 00:19:09,732
We can discuss it
after we get this thing...
459
00:19:07,897 --> 00:19:09,732
Ow! Ow!
460
00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:11,025
...off your father.
461
00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:12,860
Kn-Know what --
know what, Morty?
462
00:19:12,943 --> 00:19:14,904
I’m not going back there ever.
463
00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:16,864
Oh!
464
00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:16,864
Stupid bowling.
465
00:19:16,906 --> 00:19:19,950
Bottle-shooting morons.
Idiot trophy.
466
00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:22,370
Aw, w-wait, no, you don’t wanna
keep some of these?
467
00:19:22,453 --> 00:19:23,996
Y-You look so happy.
468
00:19:24,038 --> 00:19:25,915
Aaaaahhh! Don’t -- Don’t --
Don’t shred me, Rick!
469
00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:28,918
It’s trash now, Morty!
Drop it!
470
00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:28,918
Ooh! Ahh! Ohh!
471
00:19:31,045 --> 00:19:33,381
I'm sorry I tried
to shred you, Morty.
472
00:19:33,464 --> 00:19:37,009
Y-Y-You’re a nice kid,
a good -- good boy.
473
00:19:37,051 --> 00:19:38,552
You should have your grandpa.
474
00:19:38,636 --> 00:19:42,056
N-Not this --
I’m -- I’m too stupid, Morty.
475
00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:43,599
Stupid Ted.
476
00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:45,976
If I were just
a little bit smarter, I could --
477
00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:47,645
I-I could figure it out.
478
00:19:47,728 --> 00:19:48,938
And be happy.
479
00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:50,314
I'm gonna push the button,
Morty.
480
00:19:50,356 --> 00:19:52,066
I'm -- I’m gonna do it
for you.
481
00:19:52,108 --> 00:19:55,236
Uh, if that makes you
feel better?
482
00:19:55,319 --> 00:19:56,570
Is he...
483
00:19:56,654 --> 00:19:58,072
Is he better at this?
484
00:19:58,155 --> 00:20:00,866
Rick? Um, yeah.
485
00:20:00,908 --> 00:20:02,952
Yeah, he is. You are.
486
00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:05,079
D-Don’t --
Don’t bullshit me, Morty.
487
00:20:05,162 --> 00:20:08,416
No, you’re really smart,
really important.
488
00:20:08,499 --> 00:20:12,253
You have a great family,
and -- and lots of friends.
489
00:20:12,294 --> 00:20:14,880
You’re...so happy.
490
00:20:14,922 --> 00:20:16,966
And...we all
really love you.
491
00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:19,510
Aw, fuck it.
492
00:20:27,643 --> 00:20:30,271
It -- It didn't work?
493
00:20:30,354 --> 00:20:31,689
No.
494
00:20:31,772 --> 00:20:34,066
It did.
495
00:20:38,446 --> 00:20:45,786
{\an8}♪♪
496
00:20:45,828 --> 00:20:49,582
{\an8}♪ I get stuck on pages ♪
497
00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:55,171
{\an8}♪ You keep trying to turn ♪
498
00:20:56,630 --> 00:21:01,761
{\an8}♪ Feels like I've been
on this one for ages ♪
499
00:21:04,305 --> 00:21:09,143
{\an8}♪ When will I ever learn? ♪
500
00:21:09,185 --> 00:21:14,315
{\an8}♪ Oooh ♪
501
00:21:15,983 --> 00:21:19,361
We've always known you as
a tourist on our little island.
502
00:21:19,445 --> 00:21:22,156
But now we're gonna
know you as part of our family.
503
00:21:22,198 --> 00:21:24,533
I love you, Sallpock.
504
00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:26,160
Mush-mush-molock.
505
00:21:26,202 --> 00:21:28,245
I didn’t think
I was the kind of man --
506
00:21:28,329 --> 00:21:30,706
[ Sobs ] Sorry.
I, um --
507
00:21:30,790 --> 00:21:33,667
We love you, Sallpock!
508
00:21:30,790 --> 00:21:33,667
[ Crowd cheers ]
509
00:21:33,709 --> 00:21:38,923
Should anyone object, speak now
or forever hold your peace.
510
00:21:38,964 --> 00:21:41,425
Yeah, I object.
511
00:21:38,964 --> 00:21:41,425
[ Crowd gasps, murmurs ]
512
00:21:41,509 --> 00:21:43,677
Shouldn't we let it play out?
He's not in danger.
513
00:21:43,719 --> 00:21:45,554
I've never seen
these people before in my life.
514
00:21:45,638 --> 00:21:48,682
Okay, Grandpa Rick. Let's go.
Vacation's over.
515
00:21:48,766 --> 00:21:51,018
It's not my vacation!
It's my home!
516
00:21:51,101 --> 00:21:52,728
[ Panting ]
517
00:21:52,812 --> 00:21:55,105
No, no! Let me go! No!
518
00:21:55,189 --> 00:21:56,565
Boom. Egged!
519
00:21:56,649 --> 00:21:57,858
It's okay.
520
00:21:57,900 --> 00:21:59,819
He's an alien
who removes his intelligence
521
00:21:59,860 --> 00:22:01,070
to hook up with locals.
522
00:22:01,153 --> 00:22:02,363
He likes that you're simple.
523
00:22:02,446 --> 00:22:04,240
He doesn't want to be known.
524
00:22:05,407 --> 00:22:07,243
Did you get any of that?